How can I make a zombie survival blog without adding the 33 rules of zombieland? I can’t so here they are!
Rule #1: Cardio – The faster you run, the further away you can be from a zombie.
Rule #2: The Double Tap – Never assume a zombie is dead. Always make sure with a clean shot to the brain.
Rule #3: Beware of Bathrooms – Zombies can be sneaky. Always be cautious when entering the “facilities”.
Rule #4: Wear Your Seatbelt – There will already be enough to worry about, what with the living dead running around. Make sure you’re buckled in secure, just in case.
Rule #5: No Attachments – Don’t get too attached to your travel buddies. You may be blowing their brains out in the end.
Rule #6: Cast Iron Skillet – Sturdy and portable, this household item makes a great zombie deterrent.
Rule #7: Travel Light – Only carry the necessities. You never know when you’re going to have to pick up and go in a hurry.
Rule #8: Get a Kickass Partner – Always good to have an experienced zombie killer on your side.
Rule #9: With Your Bare Hands – Always have some kind of weapon at the ready. Do you really wanna touch these undead freaks with your bare skin?
Rule #10: Don’t Swing Low – Despite how some females feel about men, all brains are located in the head. That’s where you wanna aim.
Rule #11: Use Your Feet – Running, jumping, kicking away zombies. Your feet are always something you should take full advantage of.
Rule #12: Bounty Paper Towels – When it comes to the undead, you can never be too clean. Always carry these for messes, big or small.
Rule #13: Shake It Off – Whether it be bad thoughts, shock, or a zombie, you gotta shake it off.
Rule #14: Always Carry a Change of Underwear – You never know when you might need it.
Rule #15: Bowling Ball – While it may not kill a zombie, it can definitely incapacitate a number of them at a time to set up for the Double Tap.
Rule #16: Opportunity Knocks – And whenever it does, make sure you answer.
Rule #17: (Don’t) Be a Hero – Unless it’s a matter of life and death, there’s no need to show off.
Rule #18: Limber Up – Nothing will slow you down like a pulled muscle.
Rule #19: Break It Up – It’s always good to blow off a little steam. If the zombie apocalypse has you all stressed out, just break something. Just make sure it’s not anything important.
Rule #20: It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint – Unless it’s time to sprint… then sprint.
Rule #21: Avoid Strip Clubs – If there’s one thing I hate more than zombies, it’s zombie strippers.
Rule #22: When in Doubt, Know Your Way Out – Always have an escape route. You never know when you might have to run.
Rule #23: Ziploc – Those little bags are for more than sandwiches. They help keep moisture out, so it’s always good to have them handy.
Rule #24: Use Your Thumbs – Ours were made opposable for a reason.
Rule #25:Shoot First – You don’t have to ask zombies anything anyways.
Rule #26: A Little Sunscreen Never Hurt Anybody – Do you really wanna have to worry about sunburn, too?
Rule #27: Incoming! – Always be on your toes. You never know what could come out of nowhere.
Rule #28: Double-knot Your Shoes – You don’t want to trip over unsecured laces while running from flesh hungry zombies, now do you?
Rule #29: The Buddy System – The more, the merrier. Never go it alone.
Rule #30: Pack Your Stain Stick – For those tough, ground in blood stains.
Rule #31: Check the Back Seat – As stated before, zombies can be sneaky.
Rule #32: Enjoy the Little Things – It’ll help you keep your sanity.
Rule #33: Swiss Army Knife – Multitools are always a good idea.
I hope you enjoyed this post and as always: Support me by liking me on Facebook, let me know what you think in the comments & happy surviving!
* All pictures from Zombieland