The 33 rules of Zombieland

How can I make a zombie survival blog without adding the 33 rules of zombieland? I can’t so here they are!

Rule #1: Cardio – The faster you run, the further away you can be from a zombie.

rule number 2

Rule #2: The Double Tap – Never assume a zombie is dead. Always make sure with a clean shot to the brain.

rule number 3

Rule #3: Beware of Bathrooms – Zombies can be sneaky. Always be cautious when entering the “facilities”.


Rule #4: Wear Your Seatbelt – There will already be enough to worry about, what with the living dead running around. Make sure you’re buckled in secure, just in case.


Rule #5: No Attachments – Don’t get too attached to your travel buddies. You may be blowing their brains out in the end.


Rule #6: Cast Iron Skillet – Sturdy and portable, this household item makes a great zombie deterrent.


Rule #7: Travel Light – Only carry the necessities. You never know when you’re going to have to pick up and go in a hurry.


Rule #8: Get a Kickass Partner – Always good to have an experienced zombie killer on your side.

rule number 9

Rule #9: With Your Bare Hands – Always have some kind of weapon at the ready. Do you really wanna touch these undead freaks with your bare skin?

rule number 10

Rule #10: Don’t Swing Low – Despite how some females feel about men, all brains are located in the head. That’s where you wanna aim.

rule number 11

Rule #11: Use Your Feet – Running, jumping, kicking away zombies. Your feet are always something you should take full advantage of.


Rule #12: Bounty Paper Towels – When it comes to the undead, you can never be too clean. Always carry these for messes, big or small.

rule number 13

Rule #13: Shake It Off – Whether it be bad thoughts, shock, or a zombie, you gotta shake it off.

rule number 14

Rule #14: Always Carry a Change of Underwear – You never know when you might need it.

rule number 15

Rule #15: Bowling Ball – While it may not kill a zombie, it can definitely incapacitate a number of them at a time to set up for the Double Tap.

rule number 16

Rule #16: Opportunity Knocks – And whenever it does, make sure you answer.

rule 17

Rule #17: (Don’t) Be a Hero – Unless it’s a matter of life and death, there’s no need to show off.

rule number 18

Rule #18: Limber Up – Nothing will slow you down like a pulled muscle.

rule number 19

Rule #19: Break It Up – It’s always good to blow off a little steam. If the zombie apocalypse has you all stressed out, just break something. Just make sure it’s not anything important.

rule number 19

Rule #20: It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint – Unless it’s time to sprint… then sprint.


Rule #21: Avoid Strip Clubs – If there’s one thing I hate more than zombies, it’s zombie strippers.


Rule #22: When in Doubt, Know Your Way Out – Always have an escape route. You never know when you might have to run.

rule number 23

Rule #23: Ziploc – Those little bags are for more than sandwiches. They help keep moisture out, so it’s always good to have them handy.

rule number 24

Rule #24: Use Your Thumbs – Ours were made opposable for a reason.

rule number 25

Rule #25:Shoot First – You don’t have to ask zombies anything anyways.

rule number 26

Rule #26: A Little Sunscreen Never Hurt Anybody – Do you really wanna have to worry about sunburn, too?

rule number 27

Rule #27: Incoming! – Always be on your toes. You never know what could come out of nowhere.

rule number28

Rule #28: Double-knot Your Shoes – You don’t want to trip over unsecured laces while running from flesh hungry zombies, now do you?

rule number 29

Rule #29: The Buddy System – The more, the merrier. Never go it alone.

rule number 30

Rule #30: Pack Your Stain Stick – For those tough, ground in blood stains.

rule number 31

Rule #31: Check the Back Seat – As stated before, zombies can be sneaky.

rule number 32

Rule #32: Enjoy the Little Things – It’ll help you keep your sanity.

rule number 33

Rule #33: Swiss Army Knife – Multitools are always a good idea.

I hope you enjoyed this post and as always: Support me by liking me on Facebook, let me know what you think in the comments & happy surviving!

* All pictures from Zombieland

19 thoughts on “The 33 rules of Zombieland

  1. I’ll remember those, Zombieland was one of my favourite movies. I do think that besides fatties being first to go so will men, men are suckers for boobs, the end.


      1. I used to belong to a blog site a while ago where a few of us collaborated on zombie stories, I had a deal with a friend from Georgia where if I went there during the Zombie Apocalypse and walked around topless he would protect me from them. We don’t have guns in Australia and as much as we are experts at harsh language I don’t think it will work on the undead, I am going to hold him to the promise should things go bad.


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